We’ve all been there at one time or another.

We see a photo that someone snapped of us and we immediately start picking it apart.

Throw in social media, and so many of us spending more time at home scrolling, and falling into severe self critical mode (or the dreaded compare and dispair cycle) is practically a given.

Well, my stylist, Tara Siani, is here today with her take on this scenario, how it frequently plays out in her chair, and some key insights that she would like us all to consider as we dip our toes into the new year.

I never felt comfortable posting this picture in the past, out of insecurity.

I didn’t like my smile.

Didn’t like that you could see the crows-feet around my eyes.

My shirt was unbuttoned at the bottom.

My arm looked big.

It showed my “bad” eyebrow.

I thought my neck looked old and my hair looked frizzy.

Oh, and my hand looked veiny.

No exaggeration.

I struggle with self esteem daily.

I struggle with severe anxiety and panic attacks.

Here is what I want to share: Almost all the women who sit in my chair feel they have to apologize for how they look.

“I’m sorry my hair is messy. I didn’t have time to wash it, so I put it back in a ponytail.”

I’m sorry my greys are showing and need to be touched up. I’m having that done tomorrow.”

“I didn’t have time to put makeup on, and I look awful in this lighting.”

And the one that gets me every time…

“Hurry up, put the cape on me, so I don’t have to see my body.”

Girl, stop apologizing!

This negative self-talk comes from beautiful, talented, well-educated women — mothers, artists, CEOs, women who spend day after day caring for others.

You are beautiful and funny, loving, talented, brilliant women and you inspire all that I do, and I mean that.

Do you know what REALLY gets me?

In 23 years as a hairstylist, NOT A SINGLE MALE client has EVER, EVER, EVER sat in my chair and apologized for the way he looked.

Think about that.

Seriously, think about it.

Xo,

TS

For more from Tara, be sure to follow her on Instagram @TaraSianiHair. Also check out her newly revamped site TaraSiani.com.