I had an epiphany when my boyfriend revealed quite a few people had asked him "How did LaToya get that job?"

What they were really asking and saying was: Did I know someone? Who was my hookup? I couldn't have possibly applied, wowed them and asked for a ridiculous salary they they said "okay" to.

Full Disclosure: I have an amazing "upper management" job in a company that has an internal promotion rate of 92%. That 8% who get in have to be very special.

Then I started thinking "How did i get this job?" And what does that have to do with New Year's Resolutions?

I wanted it. I wanted the job. I saw it. I applied. I called the woman in charge of hiring no less than 10 times. When she didn't call back, I emailed her boss. I went the fuck after it.

What did I have to lose? The worst thing that could have happened was they thought I was obnoxious and denied me. But they would have to meet with me, sit in a room with me, let me wow them. If they were going to say no, it would be to my face.

I wasn't always like this. I used to have New Year's Resolutions like everyone else. Lose 25 pounds. Pay off all my debt. Dessert once a week. Gym 5 days a week. Read more books. They were too small and too large all at once. Lose weight? Who cares? How about I have dessert whenever I want it? Pay off all my debt? Umm. Student loans are meant to be paid $5 a month (in my mind). They weren't life changing. None of those scared me. None of them were proven to bring happiness.

Then I met a girl who's basically my soulmate. She even has the same birthday as my boyfriend.

She showed me a list she kept on her phone of very specific, very big things, mixed with a few small things that would just make her happy. Isn't that the goal? To live an incredibly happy, fun life?

Her list:

Get a job doing ___________ that pays _________
Climb a billboard
Make 4 new friends
Save 10K
Fly to __________ alone. Explore.
Move to ___________

I was wowed. How many of us make a list that pretty much guarantees we will be living a completely different existence at the end of the year? How many of us get that specific? Her list was fearless, big and joy driven. That's what was missing from my list and my life. I was so damned scared. I was keeping things status quo instead of thinking how high can I dream? What do I really want?

That was 2012.

Since then I am fearless. I am clear about what I want to happen but leave space for the universe to decide how it will get to me. I write it down on my goal list, on my phone. I lookout it about once a month. I put it on my vision board and I daydream about what life will look like when I get there.

With that being said, I am going to share my very private, very personal goal list for 2015. Some of them I'm going to elaboration. Others? They just are what they are.

Save 5K on my own, in addition to the joint savings plan my boyfriend and I have come up with. (PS - I'm not stupid. That joint savings plan only takes effect once we get engaged. I am Carrie Bradshaw to the non-married money nonsense.)
Get a great score on my ---- at work. Run a profitable & efficient business. Grow at least 4-6 people. Keep ego out of all decisions.
Improve my credit score (don't ask.)
Launch upclose & epic. Dedicate time to it. Make it an amazing visual documentation of your life and thoughts. Treat it as if it is a gift to yourself.
Go to the beach 6-10 times. Take my little brother and sister on a proper beach picnic. Bonus points if my dad comes along.
Go to Paris, a long beachy family vacation and a long beachy couples vacay.
Take at least 4 weekend trips. Providence, a ski trip, and 2 that he plans.
Do couples therapy once a month.
Become the best dressed person I know. Meaning love everything I wear. All of it. Down to the undies.
Be a nicer, friendlier, happier person. Forgive. Don't assign intent.
Mend relationships that are bothering me. Be honest with the people in my life about how I feel. Be open. Be nice, not cutting. Your life is not a reality show. Ask therapist how to create boundaries and stick up for yourself without destroying relationships. Then do that.
End the year with 400 instagram posts. speak through your pictures.
Write for refinery29 and essence magazine.
Get healthy. Get off medication. Hire that trainer.
Be more open in therapy.
Turn that resting bitch face into resting pleasant face
Keep your relationship with God forefront. Say thank you often.
And, finally, anything in your life that is not getting better, get rid of it.

More About LaToya Lewis:

Lover of all things black & gold

Cupcake connoisseur

Contributor to Refinery 29

Find her regular column on top beauty blog Shake Your Beauty

Launching her own lifestyle blog, Up Close & Epic, in January of 2015

Fan of LaToya Lewis

Personal Motto: "Everyone has opinions - I just happen to get paid for mine."

Have You Checked Out Her Brand New Lifestyle Blog?

UpClose & Epic

Tear Up Your Resolutions & Listen To Our Guest Blogger LaToya Lewis!